I cut my penus on the lid.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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