If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
