so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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