I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
