I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize