is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
