I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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