dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
