Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize