worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
