Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
