my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
