i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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