My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
