fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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