i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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