this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
