kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
This house was built for laser tag.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
