We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
