dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize