i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
