Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Found the puke drawer
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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