i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
