Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
