She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You may now shotgun with the bride
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Two words: blizzard sex
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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