Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
