yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
