All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
