Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
