He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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