Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I didn't notice because vodka
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
