walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
