The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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