he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
