We won't sleep together?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
