Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize