arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
