no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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