I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
