Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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