You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
