So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
