he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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