last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
