I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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