I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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