I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
