It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize