i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
