That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
