Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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