I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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