I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
drinking out of a sandbucket again
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize