she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
honey bunches of taint.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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