sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's like heaven, but drunker
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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