Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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