Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
