So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
