I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just cut my nipple shaving
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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