Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
sex in a hospital.. check
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
