idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
