Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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