also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
